“You hold onto the hurt, the anger, the resentment, because you fear that if you could let it go effortlessly, then whoever caused the pain in the first place, would be getting away with it too easily.

By holding on, you might still be searching for closure, and needing an apology from someone, again, or for the first time. You want to arrive at the moment with all the baggage in hand, to make sure they understand all the weight you have been carrying around. Seeking validation for your suffering, acknowledgment, and to be reassured, yes, indeed, you really were hurt.

The only problem here is that you will never be free of the hurt, anger, or pain so long as you are waiting for that grand moment to come. The perpetrator has a backstage pass into your mind anytime. You’re open 24/7. It’s like being free on a very very long chain. You can move in any direction you want in a circle, and stretch pretty far, but at any given moment, be snapped back to that time and place, and the one snapping you back is the very person who hurt you, and you are the one that gave them permission to be there.
You gave control of your happiness to someone else.

Does it affect the other person if you are wallowing in misery, crying your eyes out reliving the moment, losing hours of your time? Nope!” Abraham Hicks

I work on forgiveness with my clients a lot. Not for the person who hurt them’s sake. But for themselves. I was so happy to receive a message from “Lena” yesterday, telling me about all the change that has taken place within her after just one RTT session.

“I don’t feel like my personality has changed, but I feel less stressed, I can enjoy my everyday more, I can value more what I have and it is not so hard to look in the mirror anymore. And I don’t feel angry at my mother anymore which is very nice, my anger was so strong – it feels good to let it go”.

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Why we find it so hard to forgive

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